I said i dont know what the big deal was as long as you stayed together. They developed a new schedule with date nights, family nights & extracurricular activities such tennis & workout time. There is a reason 80% of people regret their divorce. You hurt him. He wanted to work on getting over things and you rejected him again. Of course he doesn't want to be with you. Now you'll have to fac She wishes to continue delving into relationships, be they be intergroup or interpersonal. Life deserve to be lived . We are still married and trying to work through it, but its been a struggle. A spouse should be a best friend and truth should come easily & openly, always! If a partner doesnt reciprocate these efforts, then there is no point to suffering an unhappy life! You also cant change the future you will now face from the choices you've made. The only thing you can do is to forgive yourself, learn from this experience and move on with your life. Karma has no prejudice and only seeks to re pay whats been given. You're screwed. I guess that's make the two of us. He knows, and even though we are trying to work through the betrayal, I feel like Ive lost my best friend and hurt him like no one else ever has. The only thing you can do now is to do what you should have done with your husbandwork things out with your boyfriend. I know this doesn't help, but it's the truth in modern times. Seems as if your celebrating the divorce without expressing even a shred of sadness. Having a THREE YEAR affair with another person is NOT a mistake, it is your character. Amazing how you twisted your divorce into being some sort of litmus test concerning the character and commitment of others. But she knew something was wrong. When I decidedto leave my husband, I chose to embark uponthe most difficult journey possible. My marriage has remained intact, though its still a work in progress, and my spouse has tried to forgive me. I quickly unfriended him after a friend who could see how I felt about him threatened to tell my husband. Emotions kept inside will eventually influence the mind and ones perceptions about their life, relationship, and themselves! Katie This is such an amazing and touching story. We wont know the duration upon meeting and loving them. I learned that honesty is ultimately the best policy for everyone involved. The truth will also set you free. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). "@type": "Question", 4. Do you think you friend Loved her husband? You destroyed your husband's life, your children despise you for what you did to their father, your friends are upset because you're a damned bitch who don't respect the man who gave her everything, your best friend is maybe jealous cause you got everything a woman's want : an amazing husband ( = a weak man) to afford money, social protection for her and her children AND an alpha male to satisfy her natural (so justified) urges. I just want to know if I can become a better person and help my kids and even get my life back on track. I quoted very little scripture and I doubt anyone would truthfully think my posts were an attempt to usher in new members of Christianity. Also pray to Jah, that you may find your real true self and ask Him to forgive you your trespasses, for adulterers and fornicators God will judge. Biblically, through faith, God grants us a new heart, a heart of God. The heart is a religious construct and is comprised of our thoughts, emotions and feelings! And I was. All rights reserved. My husband loved me and be there for me in the past 15 years. "My husband's expectations for our relationship and our life together shifted not long after we got married, and we fought about it He's become a massive source of support for the problems I'm having with my husband, and I'm the same for him with his wife. Personally I believe the story. The bad was the mental toll it took on me and the breakdowns I had, thinking I wasn't a good father and had hurt them. Now it's time for you to let him know and show him just how ", "I had an emotional affair with a guy 10 years ago. One day, 20 years after meeting, I found my high school crush on Facebook. Long story short I wanted a divorce he begged for a second chance and I broke his heart it hurts me every time I think about it. ", "She listened, and she found me interesting. Again, it is unlikely a person would write an article discussing the past, in this way, unless the past is still entwined with their current existence. To me, my affair is still a good memory, but because of the pain it caused to my spouse and others, I would not do it again. If youre married, deep down you know it too. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Sure, one can equally regret not taking a shot at a new life. Should women give priority to their own needs? Since you say you feel regret. I know this author personally and Im happy to report that 4 years after her divorce, she is happy and content with her life. One thing led to another, and I was The cheating and regret stories are endless in our society, but hopefully mine can help you admit, I cheated and I regret it, to your husband or wife, and further take a decision that will be best for you as individuals and as a couple. Hands down, the best thing to ever happen to me. I actually started a company in another state just to put distance between us, and I would travel back and forth. I gave her one of mine, which she still has, but I was certain she wasn't going to live. Her kids certainly, but if she Loved her husband, at any point, she would not have walked away! So I kept quiet, trying to enjoy whatever time we had. About a year ago, I started sleeping with a colleague who is in a similarly unhappy marriage. I gave her my heart and she jumped up and down on it, spat on it and stabbed it. The entire point of such guidance is that, at times, especially vulnerable times, it is difficult to understand ourselves. Cindy is the founder of Neu Marketing Group, a single mom of two, and was diagnosed with a rare arterial disease called Once I got the divorce I got full custody of the kids later I started to regret my disigion and now I wish I can take it all back. She was married for decades, Im sure she expressed her unhappiness to her husband and, he, as most men do, ignored her. I dont know when my heart began to look away. I am glad it worked out. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your personal strength. Leave my husband Perhaps what she thought was a clear call for changes didnt register in her Husbands mind until she left. 4 Valuable Lessons I Learned After Leaving My Husband You are controlled by your feelings. I was always walking on eggshells, giving her everything she wants. You got child support and alimony too.? "acceptedAnswer": { Infidelity is complicated on the one hand And now its too late for us to be able to heal and repair. Yet, at the same time, if I didn't have the affair, I may not have realized how miserable I was. The husband you betrayed, the family you ripped apart, the woman who's husband you had sex with? "@type": "Question", Such lessons are valid lessons, for the negative consequences of not listening to such guidance mirrors what is observed in life, including the statistics! It definitely is not worth it. Your partner has the right to know, and after coming clean to them, you will feel like a burden has been lifted off your chest. How do you know she didnt do all this before leaving? Shows you have little regard for anyone else who is involved here. Six months since I left him for another man. The affair was sex and breaking of trust which is hard for someone to earn back. Thank you for going toward your truth. My infidelity destroyed the trust my wife had in me and shattered her to her soul. If a person is unhappy within their relationship but they choose not to share their emotions and how they feel with their partner until the prospect of divorce becomes inevitable, the problem is the role of ones mind and ones ability to think for themselves. Truth is the foundation of a relationship and the virtues which comprise Love! Moreover, whatever lessons were gained were surely not lessons applied to her marriage. So try everything first! ABSOLUTELY NOT! From what she wrote, it sounds as if she kept her unhappiness inside and left too soon. There is likely more truth to my words than you think! Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Wisdom creates biblical love and this type of love is a unification of virtues and a large part of a persons character! How would people behave if I end an unhappy marriage? So what if after 4 years of marriage, my wife and I had spent barely a year together? Its too late for me to conceive now and IVF isnt an option as we dont have the money. Who knows what other fucked up shit you did. It is neither. I talked to her about life, the human mind, Love, and how emotions can place us onto a path that may seem so right in the moment, but ultimately a path that may not be the best decision. Six months that I have been experiencing the utmost happiness, while also experiencing the most gut-wrenching guilt. So was he. And, it becomes the wrong choice OFTEN! ", "Ten years ago, I had an affair on my wife of 20 years. so no men ever cheat on their wives and go through the exact same scenario then??? Id like to believe my conscience was one of them. You will not be able to live a fulfilling life if you are not honest about being unhappy in your marriage. She is a nurse and has worked in many settings. 1. You will have to be strong as you put yourself back together. ", "I regret absolutely nothing. I wish this was just a bad dream and I could wake up in my ex husbands arms and tell me That every thing was alright. About July I asked my husband to move out. Regret Breaking Up With Their Exes "text": "People would bring to fore their true nature when you end an unhappy marriage. Your all over the place. Grass is not always greener on the other side. The most fucked up thing about this story is that YOU got full custody Just shows how fucked up the legal system is. "we went to his house and I began a three year long affair" and ur husband never knew for 3 years ? Perhaps she thinks she tried to tell her husband how she felt. } I dont think youre a bitch. We are given this guidance, thankfully, so we can avoid making the same mistakes as our ancestors. The recent Annual Relationship, Marriage, and Divorce Survey conducted by Avvo online marketplace for legal services found that men are more likely to regret The good was I got out of an unhappy marriage and found a person who values me and has become my best friend. But so did my shame and the part of me that said, Save your marriage and keep your mouth shut. I knew she wouldnt tolerate a cheating husband. Become the best mother you can be and become the type of person you can be proud of. She had left the ems field for a 8 to 5 job. The people that were meant to remain in my life had willingly endured the heartache alongsideme. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. Thankyou. Confessions of the Mistress 6 month laterdivorcing my husband was a HUGE mistake Based on what she wrote, she never was the person she is now inside of her marriagethis is a realization that does carry regrets! Tags: Even through the counseling, I continued the affair and realized that my marriage wasn't good for me. There is time for a new life, but this doesnt work in reverse. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. All you talk about are your own feelings.. You need to do some serious work on YOU. You asked for the divorce not him. According to the statistics, those who overcome the valleys in their marriages end up happier. Then I returned to the essence of me. The grass is almost always greener with the other man. Complaining about their husbands (yes, most of them are currently married and want to get with me). Almost a year later, Im dating a man who sexually satisfies me and truly cares about my happiness. By posting you agree that you have read the. Long story short, a huge fight between my wife and I revealed that I was in love with another woman, and I was going to leave. Some will comfort you emotionally, many will judge, and some will help you out financially." If nothing changes, then leave! I reached out on a couple dating apps and thought it would be fun to have dinner or a movie with someone, but it became much more very quickly. It has been six months since leaving my husband. A few years later, when they were getting a divorce, she told him with the intention of hurting him. I finally got so lonely and down on myself that I started chatting with people online. If he does not forgive, you must prove it to him.