Rejuvenate? Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. We are multimillionaires. [ruefully] Raymond Duck. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. Give me a downer, Danny. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! Look at that, accident black spot! Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. Find *anything*. https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! I've looked into it. Withnail: My wife is having a baby. A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. Well, I'd hardly say that. Monty: As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. [pulling some goo out of the sink] An expert on bulls you are not! Start shouting. Marwood: He's been fed from arsehole to beak. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Especially that pimp! Monty: Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! The thermostats. *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! Withnail: Marwood: Suits me. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. Withnail: Marwood: Monty: Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. What happened to your cigar commercial? Clearly a myth. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. You're looking very beautiful, man. You little thug! General: [leaning out the car window] If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. Withnail: *You'll all suffer*! Belongs to the fellow downstairs. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . We're not from London! Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Withnail: Burnt! "Here. Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. It's ridiculous. You mustn't blame yourself. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. This doll is extremely dangerous. Marwood: Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. Withnail and I Quotes, Movie quotes - Movie Quotes .com We've got to get some booze. What had I done to offend him? [with his mouth full] Hey, show no fear! We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! Marwood: Danny: What have you done to them? It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail: A little before your time. Withnail: Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Were incompatible. If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. Locations, see. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! I do. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Sod your pheasants! Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. withnail. "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Get into countryside, rejuvenate. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Reflecting these times. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Marwood: Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Oh, how I tried not to. [Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon] I'll sleep here. by Anonymous: . Tea Shop Proprietor: Then why has my head gone numb? Marwood: What do you want? The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. Headhunter to everyone. Marwood: Marwood: [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. Withnail: There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Withnail: 1 likes. Trying for even more advantage. Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail: The carrot has mystery. 'S alright, 's alright, s'alright We're going, our car has arrived! Why trust one drug and not the other? Burnt! It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. The cottage. Marwood: How right you are, how right you are. How like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! Withnail: (Paraphrasing Hamlet) I have of late but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors. [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] Old suit? Monty: Here hare here. I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. This doesn't go down at all well. Withnail: Who f***s arses? You're out of your mind! Why doesn't he retire? These aren't accidents! The entire sink's gone rotten. How noble in reason! Monty: Here hare here!' Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? Withnail: [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. No more than you have. Get into the countryside. He doesn't have any friends. [spits onto the ground] Dosed 'em. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Withnail: Rejuvenate! - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. You got to throttle him. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. I called him a ponce. Would you like a drink? Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. I've absolutely no interest in yours. Marwood: Got busted coming back through Heathrow. Monty: Why can't I get on television? And you'd be marvellous. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Here."" (Richard Griffiths) "Laisse-moi, respirer . What have you done to them? I'll show the lot of you! Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. Them pheasants are for his pot. I don't want to hear anything. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Do you grow? I'll swallow it and run a mile! No, I'd better go. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Danny: You lose, you gain. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. [holding umbrella in rain] I must be ill. Withnail: Right, you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Marwood: Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. Withnail: Jake: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! The movie, which ta. Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Dead down the drain? The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Marwood: Oh, of course you are. I might come and see you lads in the week. Don't vent spleen on me, I'm in the same boat! Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . Monty: Marwood: Marwood: Withnail: Tactical necessity. I adore you. [amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables] Eat some cake. Marwood: [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. Withnail: Especially that. Jesus Christ. The paragon of animals. Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. What's in your hump? Look at him. "Withnail and I Quotes." How dare you! Street: the embalmer. [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] In this case, it most certainly would not. [he picks up the kettle on the stove. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Come on, old boy. Ponce! Ah! He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. It's obsessed with its gut. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author's best ideas. I think we've been in here too long. Withnail: Right you f***er, I'm going to do the washing up! Withnail: These are the best withnail and I quotes. I tried not to. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. share. Danny: "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Is Marwood in love with Withnail? Withnail: Something's got to be done. Chin-chin. I'm getting the *fear*! They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. Monty: reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. Afrika Korps. You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! Marwood: Danny's here. . But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. [lunges towards the sink] It's available on Withnail: Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. [voiceover] Look out that window, if you see anything, anything at all, tell me. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader! Oh, Baudelaire. But old now, old. Im in the same boat. Black puddings are no good to us. General: Shut that gate and keep it shut! *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Me? Sinew in nicotine base. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? Uncle Monty: Sherry? [voiceover] It's like Greenland in here. Peter Marwood: That's alright, I'll go alone. We're in danger, we've got to get out. Withnail: You've got soup. Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! It's you he wants. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in. Just you wait! Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. I really don't want you to. Where did you school? This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] I expect they're dead down the drain. You shouldn't treat each other so badly. [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Withnail: I often wonder where Norman is now. There is a certain je ne sais quoi - oh, so very special - about a firm, young carrotExcuse me Uncle Monty: I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! What happened to my agent? And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. This is ridiculous. Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. Let's be 'Withnail and I' (1987) - datalounge.com If you don't leave, we'll call the police. Withnail and I Quotes I feel like a pig shat in my head! How infinite in faculties! Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Give me a downer, Danny. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Withnail: We've got to get some booze. When I strike they won't know what hit them! You got a rush. There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! It is called a Camberwell Carrot. It'll pass. No, his dog doesn't come up here. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Monty: A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Oh, Christ almighty. An expert on bulls you are not! Flowers are essentially tarts. I don't care where you come from! Withnail: Withnail: All right, this is the plan. *I'll show the lot of you*! Find your neutral space. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? Withnail and I Quotes [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. There is a certain. Then you gotta change its drawers for it. The fucking kettle's on fire! I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Withnail and I : r/movies - reddit.com Why have you drugged their onions?! Marwood: But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. Stop saying that, Withnail! 2023. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing. I'm gonna be a star*! I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. All right here? Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. Danny: Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. He told me about your problems. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Parkin's been. withnail and i quotes You won't keep us anywhere. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? I've told you why. Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Listen, I pay you 10 percent to do that. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. I recommend you smoke some more grass. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Withnail: Weve gone on holiday by mistake. I was merely making an observation. Gi' me one in t' knee. Marwood: Danny: You have made it high. *Bastards*! Quotes.net. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. [after a phone call with his agent] Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! I've looked into it. Withnail: Scrubbers! Prostitutes for the bees. It was like walking into a lung. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! Danny: [reading a newspaper] I feel unusual. The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! Why can't I get on television? Talk:Withnail and I - Wikiquote [picking up an apron] Federal judge sentences Massachusetts man to probation for running *Fork it*! Withnail. Monty: Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. I think you've been punished enough. Marwood: Withnail: Then stick it in the soap tray and save it for later. Marwood: Jesus Christ! Time change. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Withnail: You hold it down, I'll strangle it. He's an expert. Withnail: First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. Withnail: I'm good-looking. Withnail: Mrs. Parkin: I want to see about digging the car out anyway. I must be out of my mind. Be seated. Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! Withnail: I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! Withnail: I had to come. Danny: Very, very foolish words, man. Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. Withnail: They walk down to the cottage. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. Well, don't. Monty: The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . Withnail: So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. It can utilise up to 12 skins. Have you had any training in the martial arts? I've been to drama school. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. Jake: Now look, you. Calm down. Danny: Withnail: Half an hour? I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Monty: [cockily] Marwood: He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? Withnail: Didn't you hear? We're working on a film up here. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Withnail: Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. Withnail: [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. How can we make it die? I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. Danny: Outvie him. The carrot has mystery. [getting up at the same time] Cunt gave him two years. [staggering out] Headhunter to his friends. These mom & son quotes will help you describe your love for him. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. I've never met him. This ain't fancy dress." I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. Well, I don't know. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. [sticking out his yellowy tongue] This dreadful little Israelite. Please don't. What's going on? We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Withnail: It will die, it will die! Find your neutral space. Withnail: I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Richard E. Grant Is Making Self-Isolation Fun With Classic 'Withnail www.bbcamerica.com. Get that damned little swine out of here! It's got to warm up. What had I done to offend him? Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". How dare you! Withnail: I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. ""Here. Please, let's go. Uncle Monty: Oh! What have you done to them? 'He used to pick on me. Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. This is a far superior drink to meths. His name's Presuming Ed. Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. 4 Mar. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. Marwood: If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? I assure you I'm not, officer. Grab its ring. Policeman 1: Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! Marwood: Marwood: We want the finest wines available to humanity. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Making enemies of our own futures. Marwood: Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! You dont deserve such loyalty. Withnail: Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. Withnail: Murder and All-Bran and rape. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Look at this - accident blackspot? Go with it. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave oerhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. Marwood: Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. This thread is archived. I hope you guys like our collection. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. Chin-chin. We may as well sit round this cigarette. Monty: Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! I shall miss you too. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! Monty: Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. I've gone and fucked my brain! You're not in the same boat. Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. I'm good looking. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Vegetables again. Don't look, don't look! I have a heart condition. Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. It's you he wants. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. He's building the prototype now. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Withnail: This ain't fancy dress." 1 comment. It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! Marwood: Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Danny: Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. The fuel and wood situation. And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. [smiling] Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! [as Marwood walks past him] Eggs and things. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Thought I was going for a minute. We've got to get some booze. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Withnail & I - The Script - Tripod London is a country coming down from its trip. No need to get uptight, man. 2023. Ponce! [removing his sunglasses] [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm] Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! How *dare* you! quotes duty call warfare modern war. Hare. [to Marwood] Add spice to it. We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. How dare you. Withnail: They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. Imagine the size of his balls. Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! Scrubbers! Withnail: All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being?
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