carnac the magnificent curses

Here's how it played out on air. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: Natural gas. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php A: Touchback. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? A: Gunga din. Carnac The Magnificent undated. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. the audience will cheer. questions having never , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? A: 50 miles per hour. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. The Question: Name five things Dolly Partin has. Line: 478 The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. NO ONE! A: The Orient express. sister's hope chest. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. this year? . "You Light Up My Life.". A: Mr. Coffee. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? his neck? (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb Story. A: Sueeee, sueeee. (Wait for it! Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. juice? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. A: Hickory Dickory Dock. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. The character was introduced in 1964. The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. Its hard to divine when you cant see. A: At both ends. . Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: Plumber's helper. parents. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? . ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . A: Kris Kristofferson May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. A: Planter's Punch. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? on a country? compartment in your sister. A: Fort Knox. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. lizard. A: Around the world in 80 days. Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. . Line: 107 Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. (Crowd cheers) #10. The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. a #2 mayonnaise Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. A: The American people. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . contest. Box 4, Folder 48. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. A: Rat pack. Images tagged "johnny carson". A: "Oh God!" The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. A: "Rose Bowl." A: Kumquat. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. A: "The Front." While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. A: 2001. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com . Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! No more years! Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? A: "Sorry bub, no pub." . A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." [1] puppies and red-eye gravy. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? . Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your A: Double trouble. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement.